Week 27: Turning Into a Turtle

It’s the last week of my second trimester!  I am still feeling good – unicorns and rainbows abound – but I’m starting to move a lot slower than usual.  And getting off the couch?  It’s…tricky.  I feel much sympathy for poor turtles who are flipped on their backs and can’t get up.  I hear you, tiny friends.  I am also ungainly and awkward.

I also get crazy head-rushes if I bend over and stand back up too quickly.  And walking up hills got hard at some point.  Basically: growing a human and carrying around 20 extra pounds of weight can really take its toll on a body.

But!  You guys, I am still so psyched.  And the Lumberjack can’t keep his hands off my stomach.  We frequently just sort of stare at each other, all “omg we’re having a BABY.”  Best birth control screw-up ever!  (Don’t tell the kid I said that.)

The Lumberjack’s dad is in town, so last night we went out to dinner with him & my parents.  Grandparent summit!  They had many opinions on potential names, but were all in agreement that this kid is going to be awesome, and so loved.  I can’t wait for him to pop out (yep, just pop right on out!  so easy!) and get to know his family.

He is kicking a TON, and it’s awesome.  Thump, thump, thump.  I think it’s because he can tell how great things are out here.  Also because we got a HUGE stash of baby clothes over the weekend from a friend, which included a BABY HOODIE.  This kid is going to be from Oakland, through and through.  Baby hoodie.  Holy crap.

Oh also my belly button is mostly flat, but it pops out whenever I cough or laugh hysterically.  Which happens simultaneously, because as soon as I cough and feel it poke out I just crack up and can’t be stopped until I’m nearly crying.  Thanks for the laughs, weird little belly button.


It’s almost June!

…which means it’s almost the Lumberjack’s birthday.  Last night he said that all he wants to do for his birthday is to go to a sensory deprivation tank.  My husband is bizarre.

I’ve always viewed June & July as being the same month – they sound the same, and they always blur together for me.  And seeing as how the ninja fetus is due in August, I basically feel like I’m going to give birth NEXT MONTH.  I know this isn’t true.  But it still freaks me out a bit.

My plants are all planted and hanging out in the sun on the roof…now I just have to wait for them to do something.

That picture was taken at 6:30pm, and they’d been in direct sunlight since 10am.  Take that, vegetables!  Grow like the wind!  There are two kinds of basil in the orange box up top, tomatoes in the middle tub, cucumbers (I’m going to be a Pickling Queen) in the tub on the right.  Different kinds of peppers in the tall round pots, including a jalepeno plant (pickling those too!).  Lettuce & arugula in front of the tall pots, cilantro in the reddish short pot.  Phew!

I mostly feel like these this days:

Week 26: Partial Eclipse of the Vegetables

This week was also somewhat uneventful, in that the fetus is still in there, rolling around, and not much else has changed.  I officially can’t fit into almost all of my clothes, though, which is a bummer.  I tend to wear stretchy fabric and tshirt-like tops all the time, so my growing midsection didn’t pose too much of a problem.  However, this luck has run out.  I’m poking out the bottom of everything, which may be cute to the Lumberjack, but isn’t terribly work-appropriate.

a pepper plant!

Eclipse!  Last night there was an eclipse and it was pretty awesome.  My parents came over and helped me plant all my vegetables.  The Lumberjack came outside around 6:30 and said “Isn’t it time for the eclipse?  Everything looks…really weird.”  We looked up and WOAH.  The sky was like a post-apocolyptic movie, all dim and creepy.  My mom, who has never stopped being a 4th grade teacher, started explaining everything in detail to us and then pulled out all the pin-hole experiment things to show us how to look at it.  My mom’s going to be a grandma!  She’s going to be awesome.  The whole time she was freaking out about different ways to look at finger shadows and yelling at the Lumberjack to come back outside everytime he left (to go finish an exam, so it’s not like he was just screwing around in there) because “look at it NOW!  now it’s even COOLER!” I just kept thinking how happy I am that my kid gets her in his life.  She’s going to be able to blow his mind even better than me, because she can actually explain how magnets work.

We also had friends over for dinner last week with their 14-month-old pile of adorableness, also known as the Lumberjack’s god-daughter (see, he’s kind of a parent already).  It was a good trial run with our cats, seeing as how Miss Adorable was in full grabby mode.  They handled themselves pretty well – Oliver just hid in the back room the entire time, while Bella seemed somewhat interested, while incredibly patient.  Phew.

Last night the Lumberjack kept rubbing my belly in his sleep.  He’s so cute.

Week 25: I…don’t really remember

when did I get taller than my mom?

I waited too long and now I don’t remember anything that happened last week.  The fetus kept growing, and poking me.  It’s pretty cute.  We got a box of baby clothes sent from a friend that got me all swoony.  My mom & I got some plants that I am going to grow and eat.  The Lumberjack came up with a few more names that I don’t like (this may take awhile).  That’s about it.  Still feeling more emotional than usual, still doing my best to communicate & have patience.  Succeeding, for the most part.

Week 24: my baby is a fish

The anterior placenta has been breached – THERE IS MOVEMENT.  Saturday night at the movies, suddenly I started feeling little fish-like flippy movements in my belly.  The baby is a fan of The Avengers!  He’s been moving ever since, and even the Lumberjack has been able to feel a kick or two.  It seriously feels like a tiny little eel darting about.  IT IS SO WEIRD.  And it is SO COOL.

Nothing else changed much this week, although the weather is getting hotter.  One of the Lumberjack’s friends from high school came to visit for a few nights.  I am constantly impressed with what totally nice guys he’s friends with.  Unfortunately they all tend to be in committed relationships, or else I would pimp them out post haste.  This bodes well for his ability to help co-parent this fish into an awesome dude.

The weekend was perfect – went garage sailing with A3 and bought $5 worth of adorable baby outfits, got plenty of exercise, played dominoes & ate homemade icecream, spent quality time with the Lumberjack, and laid on the couch watching tv all Sunday night because I Felt Like It (see photo).  Not too shabby, this pregnancy thing.

Week 23: return of the tears!


I had been feeling so awesome and happy, and then this weekend brought, simultaneously, gorgeous weather and ridiculous hormones.

a brief moment of happiness (so dramatic)

Nothing in particular happened, I just got the Out Of Control weeps all of a sudden.  And they JUST WOULDN’T GO AWAY.  The first trimester weeps were like little explosions, where I would burst into tears in a second and then 5 minutes later feel normal again.  These second trimester weeps are just mean.  They’re like the PMS weeps.  I hate them.  They turn into a weepy spiral where the only solution is to run off to the movies by myself (and the fetus) and watch Jason Segel awkwardly suffer through a dumb “romantic comedy” that could have actually worked if they had respected the character development more and whatever, this is not a movie review blog.  This is a pregnancy review blog, and this weekend pregnancy totally bit.

However, it is a new week, I am feeling better, and I started working from home!  Not every day – I still have to come to the office most days.  But I’m going to try to do it at least one day a week, and see if I can increase it as I go.

Also, I just found out that one of my good friends is pregnant (YOUR SECRET IS SAFE WITH ME), which is awesome, not only because she has been wanting this for awhile but because I now have a pregnant friend.  This is my blog; it’s all about me here.

Today the fetus is the size of an ear of corn (hopefully not baby corn), and weighs a pound & a half.  I’m starting to look pretty huge.  Scary.

Week 22: the Lumberjack steals all my attention.

I’m still enjoying the unicorn sparkly rainbow happiness of the second trimester, but  the poor Lumberjack is not nearly as happy…poor guy got The Flu, and has been pretty miserable for almost a week.  He started sleeping on the couch, since his coughing was waking me up (it was seriously like an air horn right in my ear) and he didn’t want to infect me (aww).  I told him this was ridiculous – he’s sick!  he gets the bed!  He responded with – you’re pregnant!  you get the bed!  This was a stupid argument, but I let him win anyway.  Besides, it’s a very comfortable couch, and he gets the tv.  I think he’ll survive.

So anyway, I get to play nurse, and make up a bed for him, bring him coconut water, etc.  Last night when I was getting him clean sheets, I realized THIS IS WHAT MOMS DO and I got a little excited.  Not that I want to have a sick kid.  But it’s a really good feeling to be able to take care of people I love and know I’m helping them feel a little bit better.

(I will also be glad when he is healthy again so that I can go back to being the one waited on.  I only have 18 more weeks!)

I had my final burlesque show on Saturday.  It felt good to get back out on the stage, and sad to be leaving…but also: damn, I get tired easily.  I think this is the right time to (temporarily!) hang up my pasties.

4 week change

I just noticed that I’m wearing the same outfit to work as I did 4 weeks ago, so I took another work bathroom photo for comparison.  My belly is officially bigger than my boobs.

week 17

week 21


Week 21: It’s a boy – aka, the time I burst into tears during an ultrasound

We are having a boy (until a few years from now, when he tells us differently).

I was not expecting a boy; I did not want a boy.  I had no idea I felt this way, however, until Friday’s ultrasound when the lab tech said “You’re having a son!” and I literally burst into tears (not the happy kind).  Woah.

I sobbed all the way home, without really understanding what my problem was.  And on and off again all weekend.  Like, intense, body-wracking sobs.  Harder than I’ve cried since the Lumberjack’s mom died 2 years ago.  The Lumberjack, meanwhile, who had been expressing his preference of a girl all along while I stuck with my overly optimistic “I don’t care as long as it’s healthy!” perspective, could not contain his smile.  He was lighting up every corner of the house.  We figured out later that he knew what he preferred, so he was prepared for the alternative.  Whereas I had completely denied having a preference, so I was totally blindsided by the fact that I had one, and that I wasn’t getting it.

So anyway.

The baby is healthy, you will be happy to hear (as was I).  I have an anterior placenta, which explains why I haven’t felt much movement.  The baby has a huge brain, and a quickly beating heart, and he grabs his little toes when the lab tech is trying to get a clear picture of them.  He has tiny toes!  Because he is tiny!

I did a bunch of reading on “gender disappointment” over the weekend, and apparently 1) I am not alone, and 2) I have it WAY better than some of the women out there.  One lady said that she regularly considers giving up her 3 boys for adoption, so that they can be with someone “who really loves them.”  Holy shit.  But the main thing I learned was that a lot of women have a general idea or vision of what their kid will look/be like, and it usually has a specific gender.  So finding out that you didn’t get that gender requires you to rewrite your perspective of what you’re getting, while simultaneously mourning the kid you won’t be getting (this time around, anyway).

I’m going to have a baby, and he’s going to be a little boy, and somewhere in the past few hours I suddenly got So Fucking Psyched.  I don’t know what happened.  I was walking to work listening to KC and the Sunshine Band’s “Baby Give it Up” and suddenly I pictured myself with a little boy, dancing around a kitchen, and I got so totally, blissfully happy.  I guess I rewrote my vision, and now I’m the one who can’t stop smiling.


I told the Lumberjack “I still need this baby to be a feminist.”  He said “Well, yeah…I assumed that would be a given.  I mean, we’re the ones who are going to be shaping his world view.”  Hot damn I love my Lumberjack.

Week 20: Halfway there! Also, I puked.

We are now at the half-way point.

Lots of ups and downs this week.  First, I found out that a friend in my Pregnant Lady Group lost one of her babies (she was pregnant with twins).  I certainly viewed miscarriage as an awful thing before I got knocked up, but hearing about it while pregnant had a much bigger impact on me than I expected.  Especially since I had started getting nervous that I wasn’t feeling any activity.  So there was just an air of sadness, for lack of a better phrase, over the whole week.

Then, I found out that a friend of mine at work is also pregnant – just 4 weeks behind me (this is the work friend that I went on the crappy work trip with at Week 11).  It’s nice to have someone else to talk with about pregnancy stuff, but something tells me people are going to start making annoying jokes once we’re both waddling around later this summer.

Saturday we saw our midwife.  The Center that we’re using has everyone meet bi-weekly for “group” where we all talk/share concerns/etc, and then meet individually with the midwife for a belly check.  This was our first week.  We were not terribly impressed.  We are in “group” with some reeeeeeally annoying people.  I’m sure they’re nice, but they’re just a little too…too something.  I don’t know.  We had to go around and introduce ourself with our name, due date, and any current concerns.  One woman introduced herself with those facts, and then afterward her husband started his self-introduction with “and she’s ALSO an amazing poet, intellectual, and activist.”  Well okay then.  So, there was some eye-rolling.

But!  My midwife!  Laura Perez!  She is great.  I think we spent an hour with her.  We talked about my diet, mostly, and exercise.  And she included the Lumberjack in everything which made me really happy.  Obviously I’m the owner of the body that’s going through all this, but he’s still becoming a parent just as quickly as I am, and he’s a really important partner in this whole process.  It drives me crazy when the partner of the pregnant person gets ignored.  Don’t get me wrong, people that say “We’re pregnant” make me insane unless they are both literally pregnant.  But I think that the partner needs support, attention and assistance too.

So anyway.  She checked me with the doppler, and BAM, there was the baby’s heartbeat, just chugging away.  As soon as she said “there’s the baby” the Lumberjack and I smiled so big at each other.  I definitely didn’t have the “oh em GEE!!!” moment when I heard the heartbeat for the first time lo those many weeks ago, but this time I felt what I think everyone else keeps talking about.  I had been so nervous all week (and probably got the Lumberjack all nervous too – sorry), so hearing it and knowing I was growing a baby in there was just…awesome.  And it was nice to share that moment with the Lumberjack, and to see that we both had the exact same immediate response of “YAY.”

there they go, getting us lost.

On Sunday, we went up to Santa Rosa to visit the Lumberjack’s brother, who I will name the Navigator (you will understand why this is hilarious later).  We went for an easy 2-mile hike in the Jack London State Park.  Sounded great!  I forgot my water bottle & my snacks in the car, but whatever – we wouldn’t be gone long.


Somewhere along the way, one of those guys got us way off course.  I kept pointing out that the “trails” we were on did not seem to be maintained in the usual State Park fashion.  But usually I would notice this after we had been going downhill for awhile, so the alternative was to backtrack uphill, and that wasn’t too appealing.

I got real tired, and also real hungry & thirsty.  I AM GROWING A HUMAN, YOU GUYS.  STOP GETTING ME LOST.

Anyway, we eventually found ourselves wandering through private property and out onto a road.  At which point my phone got reception and showed us that we had left the park at least 2 miles ago.  And that there were no direct roads back to the park – we’d have to make a multi-mile side trip to get back to our car.  That might have been when I started cursing them out in my mind.  But then!  We passed a lady gardening and the Navigator asked her how to get back to the park.  She looked startled and said “Uh, you’re pretty far away.  I better just drive you – it will take about an hour, hour and a half for you to walk back.”

NICEST LADY EVER.  She also had a killer garden, with chickens & bees.  Reminded me of Krista & Jess.

Okay, I know, you want to hear about the puking.  I hadn’t puked once during my pregnancy!  I was so proud of this.  But after this Epic Journey, I was understandably starving.  So we went to a restaurant, and I ate dinner.  I may have eaten a bit more than necessary, however.  It didn’t seem like a lot, but then I need a milkshake (yes, NEEDED) which I apparently drank at a ridiculous pace.  I immediately felt like I was about to explode, in the worst, most awful and painful way I have ever felt.  It was Horrible.  So with me wandering around the parking lot crying, we said goodbye to the Navigator and headed back home.  Within 10 minutes of driving: puke.  Luckily we had a plastic bag in the car, so all my clothes survived.  But still: gross.

The worst part was that I picked such good, healthy choices for dinner.  So much protein!  Greens!  Organic & delicious!  Then I puked it all up and ended the night eating jello.  Take that, baby.