Week 27: Turning Into a Turtle

It’s the last week of my second trimester!  I am still feeling good – unicorns and rainbows abound – but I’m starting to move a lot slower than usual.  And getting off the couch?  It’s…tricky.  I feel much sympathy for poor turtles who are flipped on their backs and can’t get up.  I hear you, tiny friends.  I am also ungainly and awkward.

I also get crazy head-rushes if I bend over and stand back up too quickly.  And walking up hills got hard at some point.  Basically: growing a human and carrying around 20 extra pounds of weight can really take its toll on a body.

But!  You guys, I am still so psyched.  And the Lumberjack can’t keep his hands off my stomach.  We frequently just sort of stare at each other, all “omg we’re having a BABY.”  Best birth control screw-up ever!  (Don’t tell the kid I said that.)

The Lumberjack’s dad is in town, so last night we went out to dinner with him & my parents.  Grandparent summit!  They had many opinions on potential names, but were all in agreement that this kid is going to be awesome, and so loved.  I can’t wait for him to pop out (yep, just pop right on out!  so easy!) and get to know his family.

He is kicking a TON, and it’s awesome.  Thump, thump, thump.  I think it’s because he can tell how great things are out here.  Also because we got a HUGE stash of baby clothes over the weekend from a friend, which included a BABY HOODIE.  This kid is going to be from Oakland, through and through.  Baby hoodie.  Holy crap.

Oh also my belly button is mostly flat, but it pops out whenever I cough or laugh hysterically.  Which happens simultaneously, because as soon as I cough and feel it poke out I just crack up and can’t be stopped until I’m nearly crying.  Thanks for the laughs, weird little belly button.


It’s almost June!

…which means it’s almost the Lumberjack’s birthday.  Last night he said that all he wants to do for his birthday is to go to a sensory deprivation tank.  My husband is bizarre.

I’ve always viewed June & July as being the same month – they sound the same, and they always blur together for me.  And seeing as how the ninja fetus is due in August, I basically feel like I’m going to give birth NEXT MONTH.  I know this isn’t true.  But it still freaks me out a bit.

My plants are all planted and hanging out in the sun on the roof…now I just have to wait for them to do something.

That picture was taken at 6:30pm, and they’d been in direct sunlight since 10am.  Take that, vegetables!  Grow like the wind!  There are two kinds of basil in the orange box up top, tomatoes in the middle tub, cucumbers (I’m going to be a Pickling Queen) in the tub on the right.  Different kinds of peppers in the tall round pots, including a jalepeno plant (pickling those too!).  Lettuce & arugula in front of the tall pots, cilantro in the reddish short pot.  Phew!

I mostly feel like these this days:

Week 26: Partial Eclipse of the Vegetables

This week was also somewhat uneventful, in that the fetus is still in there, rolling around, and not much else has changed.  I officially can’t fit into almost all of my clothes, though, which is a bummer.  I tend to wear stretchy fabric and tshirt-like tops all the time, so my growing midsection didn’t pose too much of a problem.  However, this luck has run out.  I’m poking out the bottom of everything, which may be cute to the Lumberjack, but isn’t terribly work-appropriate.

a pepper plant!

Eclipse!  Last night there was an eclipse and it was pretty awesome.  My parents came over and helped me plant all my vegetables.  The Lumberjack came outside around 6:30 and said “Isn’t it time for the eclipse?  Everything looks…really weird.”  We looked up and WOAH.  The sky was like a post-apocolyptic movie, all dim and creepy.  My mom, who has never stopped being a 4th grade teacher, started explaining everything in detail to us and then pulled out all the pin-hole experiment things to show us how to look at it.  My mom’s going to be a grandma!  She’s going to be awesome.  The whole time she was freaking out about different ways to look at finger shadows and yelling at the Lumberjack to come back outside everytime he left (to go finish an exam, so it’s not like he was just screwing around in there) because “look at it NOW!  now it’s even COOLER!” I just kept thinking how happy I am that my kid gets her in his life.  She’s going to be able to blow his mind even better than me, because she can actually explain how magnets work.

We also had friends over for dinner last week with their 14-month-old pile of adorableness, also known as the Lumberjack’s god-daughter (see, he’s kind of a parent already).  It was a good trial run with our cats, seeing as how Miss Adorable was in full grabby mode.  They handled themselves pretty well – Oliver just hid in the back room the entire time, while Bella seemed somewhat interested, while incredibly patient.  Phew.

Last night the Lumberjack kept rubbing my belly in his sleep.  He’s so cute.

Week 25: I…don’t really remember

when did I get taller than my mom?

I waited too long and now I don’t remember anything that happened last week.  The fetus kept growing, and poking me.  It’s pretty cute.  We got a box of baby clothes sent from a friend that got me all swoony.  My mom & I got some plants that I am going to grow and eat.  The Lumberjack came up with a few more names that I don’t like (this may take awhile).  That’s about it.  Still feeling more emotional than usual, still doing my best to communicate & have patience.  Succeeding, for the most part.

Mother’s Day

Since I will be spending tomorrow with my mom, I wanted to post now to say Happy Mother’s Day to all you moms and soon-to-bes.  So weird that we will soon be PARENTS.  Like these ones that I’ve got:

Happy Mom’s Day, mom, even though you won’t see this because you don’t know about my blog so that I have a space to complain when you (so rarely now!) make me nuts.  I love you tons, which I will also tell you in person tomorrow while you help me learn how to grow a freaking carrot for my future baby.

I’m going to grow a salad

Gardening seems like a good, maternal hobby to take up.  Therefore, stay tuned – I am going to grow vegetables!  For Mother’s Day, I am allowing my mom to come over and give me as much advice and feedback as she wants, with no complaining or eye-rolling from me.  I am very generous.

Week 24: my baby is a fish

The anterior placenta has been breached – THERE IS MOVEMENT.  Saturday night at the movies, suddenly I started feeling little fish-like flippy movements in my belly.  The baby is a fan of The Avengers!  He’s been moving ever since, and even the Lumberjack has been able to feel a kick or two.  It seriously feels like a tiny little eel darting about.  IT IS SO WEIRD.  And it is SO COOL.

Nothing else changed much this week, although the weather is getting hotter.  One of the Lumberjack’s friends from high school came to visit for a few nights.  I am constantly impressed with what totally nice guys he’s friends with.  Unfortunately they all tend to be in committed relationships, or else I would pimp them out post haste.  This bodes well for his ability to help co-parent this fish into an awesome dude.

The weekend was perfect – went garage sailing with A3 and bought $5 worth of adorable baby outfits, got plenty of exercise, played dominoes & ate homemade icecream, spent quality time with the Lumberjack, and laid on the couch watching tv all Sunday night because I Felt Like It (see photo).  Not too shabby, this pregnancy thing.

ninja fetus

The other night I was pouting/whining about how everyone in my pregnancy group (all due around the same time as me) is talking about how Amazing and Magical it is to feel their babies moving around, when I’m stuck with this dumb anterior placenta and can’t feel a damn thing.  The Lumberjack replied “yeah, well, none of them have ninja babies who can flip the placenta to mask their activity!”

Later, as we were watching a tv show in which a boy shoots his mom, I yelped “What if the ninja baby tries to kill me?!” and he said “First of all, no ninja baby would use a gun, and second of all, you’d be dead.”

Not everything that the Lumberjack says is comforting.

Week 23: return of the tears!


I had been feeling so awesome and happy, and then this weekend brought, simultaneously, gorgeous weather and ridiculous hormones.

a brief moment of happiness (so dramatic)

Nothing in particular happened, I just got the Out Of Control weeps all of a sudden.  And they JUST WOULDN’T GO AWAY.  The first trimester weeps were like little explosions, where I would burst into tears in a second and then 5 minutes later feel normal again.  These second trimester weeps are just mean.  They’re like the PMS weeps.  I hate them.  They turn into a weepy spiral where the only solution is to run off to the movies by myself (and the fetus) and watch Jason Segel awkwardly suffer through a dumb “romantic comedy” that could have actually worked if they had respected the character development more and whatever, this is not a movie review blog.  This is a pregnancy review blog, and this weekend pregnancy totally bit.

However, it is a new week, I am feeling better, and I started working from home!  Not every day – I still have to come to the office most days.  But I’m going to try to do it at least one day a week, and see if I can increase it as I go.

Also, I just found out that one of my good friends is pregnant (YOUR SECRET IS SAFE WITH ME), which is awesome, not only because she has been wanting this for awhile but because I now have a pregnant friend.  This is my blog; it’s all about me here.

Today the fetus is the size of an ear of corn (hopefully not baby corn), and weighs a pound & a half.  I’m starting to look pretty huge.  Scary.