The diaper service called this afternoon to confirm that they’re dropping off our first order next week. NEXT WEEK. WE WILL HAVE DIAPERS IN OUR HOUSE IN ONE WEEK.
Seriously? Who decided that I was ready to be a mother?! I guess technically it was me making that decision, 9 months or so ago. But still! What the fuck. We’re going to have a BABY and we’re going to be in charge of keeping him alive. All the time! Every day! FOREVER.
I may or may not be slightly freaking out.
I have been getting check-ups on the regular the past 2 weeks. Two non-stress tests, one doctor visit and one midwife visit every week. Plus Kaiser loaned me a blood pressure cuff, so I’m now monitoring my BP three times a day. There are a ton of people watching over me and this little baby, making sure both of us are chugging along like we’re supposed to. The consensus is now that I do not have pre-eclampsia (YAY), but I do have gestational hypertension (high blood pressure due to the pregnancy). So it looks like I’ll still have to birth in the hospital, but it’s way less serious than we thought. This is good! The hospital we’ll go to has midwives on staff, and my midwife will be coming with me as my doula, so I’ll still get the midwifery model that I wanted – we’ll just be near doctors in case everything goes to hell.
I hope everything doesn’t go to hell.
I’m working from home full-time now, and it’s AWESOME. No more commuting, I can snack and nap throughout the day, I work in tank tops & my underwear. At the end of today, it took me all of 45 seconds to go from working to sitting on the couch with a popsicle. Not too shabby.
I’m on pseudo-bedrest (that’s what I’m calling it) where I’m staying home and resting as much as possible, although still going to pre-natal yoga and taking a few easy walks in the evenings. I’m soaking my feet at night. I’m taking way more supplements than I thought existed. I’m charting everything I consume. 100oz of water, 100g of protein, every day. Greens, eggs, cucumbers, dark chocolate (woo hoo), all the right things to keep my blood pressure down and to continue creating a tiny super genius. I’m listening to hypnobirthing audio tapes, and creating a sense of peace and calm around the upcoming birth. I’m focusing pretty much all my energy these days on growing this baby and preparing to introduce him to the world.
This evening I ate a watermelon while sitting calmly, and realized how much I’ve changed my lifestyle in the past few months to get ready for the kid. And I just felt so happy. That I’m lucky enough to be able to lie around eating watermelon and dreaming about a baby. That I have an awesome husband who is taking such good care of me and who is likewise thrilled about our upcoming adventure. That I’m as healthy as I am, and that I know what needs to be done for the less healthy aspects of pregnancy so that it doesn’t affect me or the baby. I’m just so happy that this has all turned out how it has, and that it appears to be continuing nicely.
And somehow that coexists with my HOLY SHIT YOU GUYS I’M GOING TO HAVE A BABY IN A MATTER OF DAYS freak out. I’m not sure how, but I’m rolling with it.