So apparently this is a thing, and I have it.
Basically: there’s a joint in the pubic bone so that it can spread a bit to let out a baby. Thanks to relaxin, some lucky ladies have pubic bones that get a little feisty and decide to open up early. This results in the painful feeling of one’s pubic bone snapping in two.
SUUUUUUUCKS. Okay, it’s not really THAT bad. And it should go away once I stop being pregnant. So that’s good. But in the meantime, it hurts! Suggestions for “treatment” are just tips to keep the pelvis stabilized (don’t swim the breaststroke, don’t fling one leg out of the car really fast, keep thighs parallel, etc). My favourite is “keep your legs together.” Thanks, smartass – if I could manage that, I wouldn’t have gotten knocked up in the first place.
Other than the whole “my pubic bone is about to snap in half” sensation that happens periodically throughout the day, I’m still feeling good. Keeping up my iron intake, sticking with my exercise, etc. Still on-track to birth a super genius baby.
The Lumberjack has gotten hilariously uber-defensive of the baby, and, by extension, me. Anyone (humans or animals – he yelled at a goose the other day after it hissed at me) who seems to threaten my physical safety has become an enemy. He’s sweet & gentle enough that it all just seems ridiculously cute. How dare that jogger nearly trample me! PROTECT THE BABY.
Baby movements have gotten intense. He no longer just jabs me periodically – I can now feel an entire foot (or knee? or elbow?) press against me, very solidly. When I push back, he slides to the side and IT IS SO CREEPY, YOU GUYS. I am so happy & so excited & totally full of OMG I AM GROWING AN AMAZING HUMAN BABY but still, it’s fucking creepy.
I’m totally in awe of what my body is currently up to. I’m growing a person! WTF?! I’m having a lot of empathy these days for people who want to do this but are unable to. It seems so bizarre that some of us have bodies that can get knocked up without even trying while others can’t get there despite trying everything possible, and there’s no logic or reason for the difference. I feel very grateful and lucky that once this kid pops out, we get to just take him home and BAM we have a baby. No lengthy adoption waiting lists or interviews or ridiculous costs or whatever. Due solely to our untamed fertility, the Lumberjack & I get to have the family we want. It’s giving me a wider perspective on the issue, similar to the greater understanding I had towards marriage after I actually got hitched (aka for fuck’s sake, let everyone get married you dickheads).
To sum up: I like being pregnant, I don’t like my pubic bone, I love the Lumberjack, and I should get back to work.