The other night I was pouting/whining about how everyone in my pregnancy group (all due around the same time as me) is talking about how Amazing and Magical it is to feel their babies moving around, when I’m stuck with this dumb anterior placenta and can’t feel a damn thing. The Lumberjack replied “yeah, well, none of them have ninja babies who can flip the placenta to mask their activity!”
Later, as we were watching a tv show in which a boy shoots his mom, I yelped “What if the ninja baby tries to kill me?!” and he said “First of all, no ninja baby would use a gun, and second of all, you’d be dead.”
Not everything that the Lumberjack says is comforting.