I may or may not be in a rotten mood today.
The fetus is the size of an avocado! It sounds so cute! Up until last Wednesday or Thursday, everything was adorable. Then something happened and my hormones went insane and now everything sucks. SUCKS. EVERYTHING. EVERYTHING SUCKS.
I had a horrible nightmare the other night that the Lumberjack left me and I woke up sobbing. Like, seriously, body-shaking sobs. I had to grab on his finger with his wedding ring to get back to sleep. All weekend I was the most impatient and cranky person ever. I had to do laundry on Saturday. So? Did I do laundry? I did! But first I got way too pissy at the Lumberjack for using up all our quarters, then broke down sobbing in the living room yelling at him for an apology (yes, you read that correctly: I demanded that HE apologize to ME).
SERIOUSLY WHAT IS UP WITH THESE HORMONES.
Yesterday was better but I’m just plagued with this deep pit of sadness. Which is based on absolutely nothing that I can figure out, which of course makes it useless. I’m about 4 seconds from breaking down crying at any given moment. This is exhausting.
And then I went and told Facebook that I’m pregnant, which I kind of didn’t mean to do, but of course I did because What Else Did I Expect when posting about how much I miss beer. And I forgot (or did I? who knows; I am SELF DESTRUCTIVE LIKE A CRAZY PERSON) that some of the Lumberjack’s friends are my friends and so now they all know I’m knocked up and TRUE it’s been a month since we started telling people, so at this point it’s all out there
BUT STILL YOU GUYS I HATE EVERYTHING.
And then to top it all off, I am consumed with guilt over what my emotions/hormones are doing to the fetus. Am I passing on stress vibes or something? Wasn’t there a study done where depressed moms ruined their children’s lives?
aaaaaaaand I think I need a nap. No photo this week because I forgot, what with all the ANGST.