Week Ten: Here come the waterworks

I thought I was emotional before?  Ha!  Week 10 is here to show me what’s up.  Good lord.  I’ve been useless at work, just sitting around feeling sorry for myself and then annoyed that I’m feeling sorry for myself, and we all know how productive that cycle is.

I suggested that we start taking weekly pictures yesterday – starting with Week 10 seemed like a nice idea.  Just kidding!  It was a horrible idea!  Who has two thumbs and hates the way she looks right now?  THIS GIRL.  The Lumberjack tried very nicely to take my photo, but I insisted on deleting every single one after crying about how ugly I looked in it.  Jesus.  The remaining 30 photos are going to be FUN.

On the plus side, I bought some maternity jeans at the Gap that fit just like my usual skinny jeans, so I still feel a little bit foxy, sometimes.  That helps.

I’ve decided I officially need to ask for a seat on BART.  I haven’t fainted again, but whenever I ride standing up, I feel really light-headed and unbalanced, so now I get to be the lady that asks for seats without having any visible reason to need one.  This is not a fun role to play.  I’ve taken to sticking out my stomach as far as possible and placing my hands around the bump in the Pregnant Lady Pose so that they believe me.

Last Friday’s attempt at asking for a seat was a little ridiculous.  I got on the train and stood up, since it was packed.  Halfway between stops, I realised that I needed to sit down, so I asked a man sitting next to me if I could have his seat.  “I’m pregnant,” I explained, doing the Pose.  As he stood up, an older lady who was standing a few rows away pushed through the crowd and said to me “Excuse me, but I really need that seat.  I’m old.”  I didn’t point out that she had passed at least 10 seats on her way to take mine, and that she could certainly have asked anyone else to stand up for her – instead, I said “I’m sorry, I’m pregnant and really need to sit down,” while glaring at the dude sitting next to me for not offering his seat up.  She yelled at me “WELL I FEEL LIKE I’M GOING TO FAINT.”  I looked up at her and said “Last week I DID faint.”  At this point the guy next to me offered her his seat, so she flounced into it, glared at me and said “When you’re 75, you’ll understand.”  I wanted to say “…that some people are assholes?  Thanks, but I already had that figured out.”  But I did not.  I am with child, you see, so I must be kind.

This morning, I asked for a seat again (I’m telling you, the Pose works).  As I sat down, a woman standing near me said “Oh my god, how are you doing?  I was there when you fainted!”  I looked up and it was the lady who helped me up and found my earring!  She told me that she’d been thinking of me since it happened.  I reassured her that everything turned out okay, and thanked her for being so awesome…and then she said “it was so weird, because when it happened I had JUST found out that I’m pregnant, too!”  WHAT.  We talked the whole way in, exchanged contact info, and are now going to be Pregnant Lady Friends.

This week I told one more person.  I think that brings the total to 6?  TOP SECRET, folks.  Man I’m sleepy.

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  1. A3

     /  January 30, 2012

    Wait, you have at least six comments on facebook right now. So that means you told????

    • It’s true, I went and told facebook, but filtered out almost everyone. The 6 people are 6 real-lifers. You are #6.

  2. There are always a-holes, and the older they get, the ruder the become. I love that your story was rounded off by meeting the lady that helped you before! And that she’s preggs, too! What are the odds? That’s fate, man.


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